Friday, October 16, 2009


I saw two butterflies today and they took my breath away
Two butterflies just inches from a little boy at play
He smiled at them as they caught his eye
These two little butterflies just fluttering by
Finally they came to rest in a nearby tree
The tree that was planted with love by me
Before I knew it I started to cry
And these two little butterflies were the reason why
A butterfly is a symbol of a mother who has lost a child they say
That is why these two butterflies took my breath away
For I have lost not one child but two
And I wonder if these two little butterflies are a message from you
A message that my two little boys are okay
And just wanted to watch over their brother at play

A new post almost a year later!

I cannot believe that I have not posted to this blog for almost an entire year. However, life happens and sometimes you let some things go. Although Brady and Ben are never far from my thoughts, this time of year is really hard because it is the anniversary of the birth of the babies and the beginning of our heartache. This year is a little easier than last year but the ache in my heart for the two missing little boys who are not here will never go away. Braxton is almost two and is turning in to such a big boy. He is no longer a baby and really has his own little personality. While that makes me so happy, I do wonder what Brady and Ben would look like at this age and what their personalities would be. I think I will always wonder that. I am about to graduate with my Masters in December. I never thought I would make it to the finish line after all that has happened but it looks like I am going to make it. I am proud of myself for pushing on towards my goals. Grief is a funny thing. I am okay most of the time but it still just takes a little something to send it all rushing back. I can't go to Vanderbilt Children's Hospital without having a breakdown but I tell myself that I am allowed to have these breakdowns. Overall, Michael, Braxton and I are doing well and trying to move on with our lives but Brady and Ben will always be part of our family and part of our story.