Going Home

Going Home

It never got to happen
I never got to bring you home
I would watch as other babies would move to stepdown
I would count the days until that was you
I would count the days until you came home with us
Everything at the house was ready for you and your brothers
Sweet Ben we lost from the start and we knew he would never make it home
But for you we had hope—lots of hope
We were given many many assurances that you would eventually be just fine
But you were not just fine—you kept having setbacks
You kept getting sicker and sicker until finally there was no hope
Then we counted days again—but this time it was the days we had left with you
The days until you got to go home but not to our home but to your heavenly home
It was not the home we had planned for you
It was not the kind of countdown we had wanted
But in the end-it was the countdown we got

And finally late one night in my arms—you went home