Getting Motivated for the Road Ahead

I haven't blogged in a while so I thought I would post today. I am due to start work again at the first of July and graduate school again at the end of August. I am really having a hard time getting motivated to get back into "real" life. Ever since everything has happened I have been kinda sheltered in my own house and in my own little world with just me and Braxton. The idea of having to go back and face the everyday tasks of work and school just seem a little overwhelming to me at times. I always knew I would have to go back-even when I thought I would have triplets right now I still planned to go back to work and school eventually. I just thought that I would be going back a happy person with the three little babies I had waited for so long at home waiting for me every day. I just didn't expect to be going back with just one baby and forever changed with the heartache of losing two. I am a different person now. I have seen things in the months that Brady was alive that I couldn't have imagined seeing before. I have held two of my dead babies. I spent six hours with Brady after he died. The idea of that may freak some people out but it was perfectly natural for me to hold and love on this baby that I had known and loved for five months. I am kinda getting off topic here. I say all this to say that even though I have adjusted to not being at the hospital every day now I still have really not had to face the challenge of getting back into my life as it was before. I really would just love to stay at home with Braxton and finish my degree before I go back to work. However part of me feels that it may be good for me to get out there and have some social interaction again. I am just taking things a day at a time. If I do go back to work then I have got to go shopping for some new clothes because there is no way I can fit into my old sizes again quite yet. An excuse to go shopping is always nice-ha-ha.